Well, hello there.

I’ve opened up my computer to write something down so often these past few months. When I do it’s usually late at night (which it is now) or I have about 5 minutes to my name and I should probably do something more productive (like shower). Ultimately, I only get a sentence in here and there, much of it never really making any sense. So, in the end, what I’m trying to say is: Hello.

Life is a blur with toddlers. You end up covered in drool, spit up, smashed bananas, or whatever cereal bar you decided to give your 2 year old that day. You wonder what your life was like before children and what you possibly did with All That Free Time.

You begin to understand that this is your new normal and work hard to getting some of your old self into your new self. I try to knit but every time I get a moment it’s usually sucked into cleaning or playing ref or zoning out reading Facebook or Instagram. I’m in that mode. That “just get me through the day but I love my babies so much” mode. My hair is a mess, my poor teeth are crooked (sorry Invisalin!), my pants are sweats, and I can’t remember the last time I wore something other than flip flops on my feet.

Life with my son’s diagnosis is hard. Really hard. I didn’t realize what a tough cookie you have to be when you have a child with special needs. I like to think that I am Mama Fierce but really I just need a good hug sometimes. (or a bottle of wine)

My son’s issues right now are mostly physical. He will have days where he can’t use an arm or leg and needs a ton of support. Those days are happening weekly and come without notice. We could be playing pretend at his kitchen and then all of a sudden I need to hold him up. He is never happy when this happens. It’s an emotional roller coaster. There is not much brain or phsycial power to knit…

BUT dear readers this is not a “I’m not going to blog anymore” kind of post, no no! You can’t get rid of me that easy! You’ll have to pry me away from this blog! This is a “I’m feeling the spark again!” post and I need to TRY to give this part of me a chance to thrive.  This is me dusting myself off, putting “Eye of the Tiger” on blast, raising my knitting needles in the air and shouting “I will not go quietly into the night!”… ok, I think you get the picture.

It’s also helped that there has been so much knit inspiration around me lately. There are some really beautiful patterns out there right now. Ones that have me buying bags of yarn late at night without hesitation. “When will I knit?” Ahh who knows! I’m knitting with no abandon! TO hell with being tired. ;-P

So before I get into all that good stuff, I felt I needed to break the ice. Thanks for hanging in there and keeping my link in your feed. Hi. Let’s be friends again.

And that you to that person who over the weekend gave me an umph to just start writing again. Thank you… I’m trying!!

Knit on,
Margaux

PS. You’ve probably noticed too that there’s a different look going on. I’m migrating from an old blog platform to a new one. Bare with me while I try getting all the photos and links back up! I know what you’re saying, “sure, Margaux, with ALL that free time you have!” lol. I know, I know. I’m crazy.

A new pattern: the James Cowl (for AHC awareness)

Unless you were living without electricity I am sure you saw the phenomimon that is the Ice Bucket Challenge. It all started with Pete Frates, a former Boston College baseball player who was stricken with ALS and has decided not to raise the white flag. I find it's viralness so inspiring and very personal.

20141030_131514

As you may know, if you've been reading this blog or bought a copy of the Cowl for Nick that I had someone close to me who was diagnosed with ALS – the father of one of my best friends. We lost Nick over a year ago and it still stings. He was a generous, caring, funny and downright amazing man. He had a wonderful personality and humor that still shines through his wife, daughter, son and his beautiful grandchildren. He has left a wonderful legacy behind but, oh, how we all wish he was still here to enjoy it.

To see the world becoming more aware of this disease and seeing ALS organizations around the globe benefiting from heightened donations is amazing. I even got pretty defensive for all the cynics who didn't get it. Awareness = progress. 

I often think of ALS when I see my son going through his bouts of paralisis. I imagine that his frustration is similar to those who are losing control of their muscles with ALS. Both persons are so sharp mentally but their bodies are unfortunately failing them. Of course, AHC (Alternating Hemiplegia of Childhood) affects a far less percentage (approx 350 cases in the US alone) and is not nearly as fatal as ALS but it still deserves attention of it's own.

20141030_111530

James Cowl
Yarn: O-Wool Balance Bulky, 2 skeins, peridot
Needles: US 10.5

It's with that in mind I give you the James Cowl. An easy, chunky cowl, knit up in no more than two-three days – a perfect last minute gift. All proceeds of this cowl will go to towards medical research in finding an effective treatment for AHC. In fact, 50% of the proceeds of ALL my patterns going forward with go towards AHC research. Right now all we have are experimental drugs and ideas of what can help. We need something more concrete.

I often reflect on the philosophy of "What do you love to do? What are you good at? Who needs you to do these things?" Well it's time I offer my talents to this group of deserving people including my amazing son. Perhaps that's why I was gifted with this knit talent in the first place.

If you want to donate or do more for our cause please visit CureAHC.org and AHCF.org to help! We are a small community but a hopeful and proud one. Our children are strong individuals and while they struggle with physical and mental road bumps, are the most inspiring people we have ever met.

Buy a pattern, get TWO, or three 😉 Make a cowl, gift a cowl, share this post and keep warm.

Happy Knitting!
Margaux & James

Jamesandiprofile