AHC Awareness, Life

Well, hello there.

I’ve opened up my computer to write something down so often these past few months. When I do it’s usually late at night (which it is now) or I have about 5 minutes to my name and I should probably do something more productive (like shower). Ultimately, I only get a sentence in here and there, much of it never really making any sense. So, in the end, what I’m trying to say is: Hello.

Life is a blur with toddlers. You end up covered in drool, spit up, smashed bananas, or whatever cereal bar you decided to give your 2 year old that day. You wonder what your life was like before children and what you possibly did with All That Free Time.

You begin to understand that this is your new normal and work hard to getting some of your old self into your new self. I try to knit but every time I get a moment it’s usually sucked into cleaning or playing ref or zoning out reading Facebook or Instagram. I’m in that mode. That “just get me through the day but I love my babies so much” mode. My hair is a mess, my poor teeth are crooked (sorry Invisalin!), my pants are sweats, and I can’t remember the last time I wore something other than flip flops on my feet.

Life with my son’s diagnosis is hard. Really hard. I didn’t realize what a tough cookie you have to be when you have a child with special needs. I like to think that I am Mama Fierce but really I just need a good hug sometimes. (or a bottle of wine)

My son’s issues right now are mostly physical. He will have days where he can’t use an arm or leg and needs a ton of support. Those days are happening weekly and come without notice. We could be playing pretend at his kitchen and then all of a sudden I need to hold him up. He is never happy when this happens. It’s an emotional roller coaster. There is not much brain or phsycial power to knit…

BUT dear readers this is not a “I’m not going to blog anymore” kind of post, no no! You can’t get rid of me that easy! You’ll have to pry me away from this blog! This is a “I’m feeling the spark again!” post and I need to TRY to give this part of me a chance to thrive.  This is me dusting myself off, putting “Eye of the Tiger” on blast, raising my knitting needles in the air and shouting “I will not go quietly into the night!”… ok, I think you get the picture.

It’s also helped that there has been so much knit inspiration around me lately. There are some really beautiful patterns out there right now. Ones that have me buying bags of yarn late at night without hesitation. “When will I knit?” Ahh who knows! I’m knitting with no abandon! TO hell with being tired. ;-P

So before I get into all that good stuff, I felt I needed to break the ice. Thanks for hanging in there and keeping my link in your feed. Hi. Let’s be friends again.

And that you to that person who over the weekend gave me an umph to just start writing again. Thank you… I’m trying!!

Knit on,
Margaux

PS. You’ve probably noticed too that there’s a different look going on. I’m migrating from an old blog platform to a new one. Bare with me while I try getting all the photos and links back up! I know what you’re saying, “sure, Margaux, with ALL that free time you have!” lol. I know, I know. I’m crazy.