September Beckons

It’s only a few short days until the end of the summer. Labor Day is peeking her spiky head around the corner – much to everyone’s dissapointment. What will the fall bring? More evenings out in the cool October and November weather. A birthday – which gets me thinking…

I recently saw the series finale of Six Feet Under. Now, I’ll be honest this was not a show I religiously watched. My parents were obssessed and would be situated infront of the TV with their dinner on trays ready for each episode that featured the Fishers and the people that came in and out of their lives. I would always go up stairs to a different TV waiting patiently for the hour to be up so that I could go back to lying by my mom so she could play with my hair. But this night was different – I was a bit late, but caught a lot of the episode, especially the end which haunted me. First it was the song: Breathe Me by Sia. I immediately downloaded the song on my ipod. It might be the music or maybe the lyrics – but it just echoed through me… then there was Claire.

Claire was driving to an unknown life – she was taking a huge risk to go to NYC when she knew a job wasn’t waiting there for her. She was going balls-to-the-wall. Taking a risk. It shouldn’t have surpised me that they ended the show by showing all their deaths, but there I was watching eagerly. Claire was the last to go having lived a full and long life. Each of the Fishers (granted not Nate) lived long – but the thing that always got me was that no matter where they went or what they did they all ended up the same way. That perhaps was the most haunting – realizing that life is so F’in short. I constantly think about whether or not what I am doing with my life will enable me to say, “Yes, Margaux, you did all you could. You lived full.” Some days I do think that… but…

But still I feel sometimes that I’ve picked the “safe life”. I work at the high school I went to – and don’t get me wrong, I do not think my job is easy – but I keep thinking to myself how freakin’ easy it was to get it. Life can’t be THAT easy… can it? I feel sometimes that I need to just jump in a car and drive away – just like Claire. Maybe everyone feels this way at some point. It’s a “fork-in-the-road” moment. Do or die. (no pun intended) What do these choices at those crucial moments tell us about ourselves? That we are weak? Brave? And which one is the weaker/braver one – the one who goes or stays? And then there’s Faith. That 5 letter word that is just as illustrious as that 4 letter word.

So I believe that where ever I go and what ever I do is meant to be…

When the sh#t hits the show

Is it possible to party more than you did when you were in college? Why yes, It’s called your mid-twenties. It’s the time when maturity hasn’t quite hit yet even when you keep promising yourself that you’ll grow up soon. But the promise seems to take a backseat to things like Happy Hour and 3am dance parties.

Dana’s House has always been a venue of parties during my formative high school years. As well as a few cameo apperances during the summers between college. As I enter into Young Adulthood (HA!) it’s managed to squeeze it’s place in there.

It all started with two kegs and a greased watermelon. Tack on one more keg, 3 24-packs, a boob cake, jump-dive-or-twist, frisbeer, beruit, a pinata, ADT, and your A game you can pretty much find yourself in every corner of the house probably spooning with someone. (yes even under the ping pong table). And while your early morning beer buzz mixes with the reality of cleaning up you can rest assured that yes you’re probably going to party this hard next weekend although you may promise yourself again that you’re not going to.

Many thanks to the hostess and I’m looking forward to the pix, which I promise to post as soon as I get them.

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Later that Sunday…

After going to watch the Yanks lose (again) and visiting some friends – the night finally ended with a little Entourage. Just as the show ended, Ari (J. Piven) was pleading with Eric to send Vince to a brainwasher because he thought he was going to end his career because of Mandy Moore. While explaining the brainwashers success with his wife’s sister, he proclaims, “she a pilates instructor in Tenafly!” After doing some research he did indeed shoutout my hometown on HBO.

Here’s to the Dirty Jerz. Much love.

1st Day Back

Going back to work after a month off is no easy task. I consider it to be worse than working all year round and taking a few days here and there. It’s practically a whole lifestyle change. But even as I say those words I would not trade my job for anything in the world. Of course this morning I woke with pure adrenilan eager to get to work to see all my collegues. But that moment of putting the key in the lock of my office door, turning it and hearing it click open I felt this overwhelming sense of, “where the F did my summer go?” I flipped on the lights to my office and took a quick look around – it was like I never left.

Of course parents and students never fully realize or care that it takes about a day to “start the engines”. I had 25 messages on my voicemail, half hang ups. I had two unannounced, no appointment drop bys. I declined to speak to the first and gave in on the second. Who do these people think they are?? We just freakin’ opened! And all day my mind wandered to emailing, finding some new yarn to knit with or obsessing over a new camera to buy.

I ended up giving in to one of my jones by leaving work “on time” and going to a LYS (local yarn store for all you non-knitter types). It was Handknits in Englewood, formerly of Hoboken – a fact that I just found out! It was pretty cool. I mean there were more yarns there than I could even consider using. I ended up buying two skeins of yarn for a case I am looking to make for my laptop.

Now, I consider myself a novice knitter. I get all nervous and embarrased when more experience knitters ask me about ‘big knitting things’. The nice woman who works there was asking me all these different questions about the laptop case project, giving me advice on different yarns to use. All I wanted was to get the ones that they asked for in the pattern. I just don’t feel like I’m quite there yet – to subsitute yarns or create things on my own – I’m a simple pattern girl (at least for now). I, a person who embodys the definition of extrovert, became a bit shy at all the Big knitting questioning. I just wanted to say, “enough lady, just give me my yarns and let me leave!”. It’s been about a year and a half since I taught myself how to knit and I am giving myself until the whole two years to be plain and simple.

It’s just the way I roll.

Last Day

Well it’s finally here… my last day of vacation. I know I cannot complain in the least bit since I have been off since July 15, but I am entitled to be a little meloncholy aren’t I? There are just too many things that happened this summer – It’s probably why I am so sad, sigh, it’s just too good to last.

Among the many things I did here are a few notables:
1) Honduras: for 10 days at the end of June, I traveled with two of my collegues to El Progresso, Honduras for a Secondary Education Conference. While there we visited many places including a nutrition center called Glasso De Leche, a Maquila (sweatshop) for the Fruit of the Loom brand, the beautiful Mayan ruins at Copan, and a orphranage called Comprome. I promise to post pictures soon as well as some excerpts from my journals while I was there.

2) Belmar: yes it was only one short overnight vacation, but it certainly rivals any other sh&tshow all nighter that I have been apart of. Thank you Dana, Julie, Melissa and Marianne for a summer beach weekend who’s highlights include: Narnia, Julie’s Handbag, Dunkin Donuts, Belmar PD, Late Night Dance Party, a Waterlogged Aerobed, and Shark Bites. (don’t you know Pump It Up)

3) Boston: Of course no summer would be complete with out a road trip. Let’s be honest, no one but myself and Torry can do as much damage as we did on Newbury St. (or at least I know I did some damage). Two nights of good Boston fun in the Fanuil Hall area was more than I could ask. Not to mention seeing Katie, BE, Rin, Keri, Mel and of course TK. Makes me want one more year of BC!

4) LBI: Although the weather made it practically impossible to sit on the beach, it was one of the best times I had there. Mom, Pops and Mr. & Mrs. A, plus a bonus night with Melissa, made that first week in August so relaxing.

5) Happy B-Day Jimmy! What started out to be a botched surprise (sorry) turned into a fabulous birthday fiesta. How can you beat a $22 split bill, including 3 margaritas (I love Jose Tejas!). I did get one surprise over Jim, conspiring with his mom I obtained a 6 year old picture of him and made it into a huge poster for people to sign. With a late night rendevous at Dippers in Hoboken – I enjoyed hearing the drunk newly 25 year old confess at the end of the night, “this was way better than a surprise party.”

Soon to be #6: The pinnacle event of the summer – the Assile B-B-Q. Honestly, can you feel now why I am so glum?